Start Where You Are: Building Self-Awareness Before Therapy

Therapy can be life changing. My personal experience as a clinician and as a client has been the impact of the therapeutic relationship. Sessions with your therapist can help create a protected space that many folks do not have outside of that 45-minute session each week. While therapy is beneficial, it is also a tool to move forward and heal.

Getting started in counseling may be daunting or impossible due to finances or schedules.  There are a few great starting points to think through without a therapist.

When working with clients, one of the first things I want to know is what has worked before. We all have helpful and unhelpful coping mechanisms to support us when our needs are not being met. We find ways to meet our needs through exercising, sex, drinking, watching tv, social media, yoga, meditation, etc… Understanding what you go to when you are struggling can give you and your therapist information into what you are needing and what can help support you through difficult moments.

Let’s think through some of your personal examples of this.

Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your mouth.

Think back to that recent break up, the weeks following a lost loved one, a stressful time at the office, moments of feeling left out with a group of friends… Fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind and ask yourself the following questions:

·      How did I respond?

·      What actions did I take? What actions did I not take?

·      What helped me with the initial pain?

·      What might have made me feel better initially but then made things worse?

·      What felt difficult to do in the moment but worked long term?

You can replay these questions and scenarios with any number of stressors you have experienced in your life. You can think through patterns you may see in your responses and what coping mechanisms have been helpful to you and what have not been helpful to you.

This is a great starting point in determining initial next steps and gain movement towards healing.

Healing starts here, wherever you are.