Mental Health Awareness - Social Support
In week four of mental health awareness month, I’d like to talk about the benefits of social connection. In short, we need each other. Relationships are tricky. They are messy. They can cause a lot of hurt, damage, and lack of trust. And we need community to survive. I think back to our ancestors and their need for roles in a tribe. Each person took care of what they needed to ensure that the community had what they needed and could thrive and continue to grow. While we no longer live in a hunter/gatherer society and our Western civilization has pigeonholed us into our silos, there is an innate drive in DNA that brings us back to the need for each other.
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” – Bessell Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score.
When you’re feeling stuck emotionally and your mental health is struggling, one of the best and hardest things you can do is reach out for support. If you don’t currently have a counselor to reach out to, think of who your closest friend is, someone that is going to meet you where you are without judgment. Sharing your woes and your experience with someone else and having them see and know you without judgment is healing. This is why counseling works. You do not have to do this alone. Often, we can get stuck in a cycle of depression which leads to lack of motivation, which leads to shame, which leads to isolation, which leads to more depression, etc. Sometimes all it takes to get out of this feedback loop of depression and isolation is one change, one call, one coffee date, or one text to start a conversation. You do not have to do this alone. We are not meant to do this alone. The fear that is telling you to stay isolated and the shame that’s telling you no one will accept you, is lying! Fear and Shame are emotions giving you information that you’ve been hurt. It’s also giving you information that you’re needing support to step out of that hurt. If you’d like, help navigating this and not doing it alone, feel free to reach out. My contact information is at the bottom of the page. One of the best things we can do is have community and have healthy relationships around us.
P.S. I’d like to clarify that I am not condoning abusive relationships and harmful connections. There are certainly moments that you need to protect yourself and not stay in relationship with those that are causing you harm.
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.