When Therapy Ends
Counseling works! I have experienced the power of counseling myself and have witnessed counseling change the lives of my clients. And because it works, it also means counseling ends. I’ve been feeling grateful and sad recently thinking about some recent discharges in my practice.
A client completing treatment is inevitable. The end of counseling can leave both clients and counselors in a bittersweet disposition. It’s remarkable to reflect with a client during the last session and recount the work they have completed over our time together. Reviewing goals they have accomplished, life events that have come and gone, personal growth that has led to life change, can create a beautiful, full circle moment.
Success in therapy can also bring about grief. The relationship clients have built with the therapist is shifting and changing. It is no longer there. Despite the accomplishments and completion of therapy, it can leave the client and the counselor feeling a sense of loss.
Personally, I feel so torn when clients discharge out of my care. As thrilled as I am to see them continue with the lives they have created, I miss them! While the therapeutic relationship is a service, there is a lot of care and love involved.
About 5 years ago, I was working with adolescents in a residential treatment center focused on addiction and depression. One of the residents questioned our staff’s motives for them stating, “You get paid for this. You don’t actually care.” I took this statement into my own therapy looking for answers. I knew that I cared about the residents I worked with daily. I also knew that I was getting paid to be there and spend time with them.
My counselor shared with me that “we are paid for our time and education. Caring for our clients is free.” I’ve thought about this sentiment quite a lot over the years. There is a transactional piece of counseling. I tell clients during our consultation call or intake session - this is a service you are hiring me for. While I am providing counseling services, I care deeply about my clients. The time they choose to share with me and the stories and hurt they allow me into is sacred. I do not take for granted the privilege and sanctity that comes with someone’s vulnerability and openness.
When the end eventually comes, I miss my clients. I think of them often. I hope they are doing well. I wonder if I will ever hear from them again or if our paths will cross. Please know your stories and vulnerability carry weight and your willingness to grow and be honest with yourself has impacted me far greater than you know.
To any previous clients or clients of other therapists, you are thought of and missed! The door is always open.