Prevention Starts With Connection
September is an opportunity to bring awareness to something that has impacted almost all of us: suicide prevention. Suicide prevention month highlights a real need not just for those suffering but also for those who are supporting individuals who are struggling.
When I think about prevention, I think about connection. Connection is what keeps people alive. The world is busy; we are busy. Social media can keep us distracted and give us a false sense of connection. Conflict can keep us at bay. Shame will keep us in the shadows. Our own negative beliefs can also keep us isolated. I come across a lot of folks that either feel like they are too much or believe that life is safer being alone. It might not even look like isolation. Sometimes we can be surrounded by people, but we’re not being our true selves. There are so many reasons that keep us from prioritizing our relationships and losing our connections.
What is true connection? True connection is feeling known and understood. Connection does not necessarily look like having a lot of friends or family. It can simply be having one or two relationships where you can be yourself without judgement. You have freedom to ask hard questions. You feel safe within the friendship. This is a reason having a counselor can be so powerful!
You do not have to wait until you are in a crisis before reaching out for support. Asking for help can be vulnerable. The difficulty to ask for help generally comes from early childhood wounds of needing support and not having your needs met. These early patterns can stay with us and keep us turning inward while missing out on connections that we need.
Maybe you are witnessing someone in your circle struggling and you’re not entirely sure how to help. It can feel uncomfortable sitting with someone else’s pain. This discomfort can often lead to quick solutions or problem solving, trying to cheer them up, finding the silver lining, or comparing experiences. These responses can take people out of their feelings and at times make them feel guilt for sharing and struggling. Sitting with someone in those emotions is where true connection lies. This tells someone – “I see you. I am here. You are not alone.” This is the true solution: connection.
Suicide prevention is, of course, about knowing how to respond when someone is in crisis. I also think prevention invites us to think about the kind of relationships and communities we are creating every day.
Connection can start small: send the post, text the friend, grab a coffee, pick up the phone, ask someone how they are doing (how they are really doing). If someone has been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, stuck in their relationships, or unsure how to ask for support, therapy can be a place to begin exploring those experiences.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or is in immediate danger, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or call 911 in an emergency.
Thank you for reading and for spreading awareness!